Emotions Confused

So, yes, I have a bit of an anger problem. When I'm scared, I get angry. When I'm sad, I get angry. And when I'm angry, well... I get angry. The question is , why so much anger? Why do I and other survivors, turn those other emotions into anger? For myself I have found that it was a survival technique that worked well in the past but now has become maladaptive to my life. It was necessary at one point in my life to show no weakness. So instead of tears I became aggressive. Not violent mind you, but tough.
I wish I could shed the tough "skin" that I had to grow. I wish I were gentle and sensitive in a way that makes others want to reach out to me, not back away and shut me out. People have a natural tendency to respond to anger with anger. I don't want to be part of that.